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The Lilli Bewley Podcast

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***Trigger Warning***

I remember when I read “Facing Codependency” by Pia Mellody, and then I read it again. And then again.
What was clicking and making sense inside of me felt true, but it was also scary.

I don’t talk about this
Ever wonder why something you’ve tried didn’t work?
Or why you can’t seem to finish a book or course?
Or why the tactics & symptom relievers help for a little bit but don’t seem to have a lasting effect?

Truth bomb, the e
I would be lying if I said that the past couple of weeks have been easy.
I have been stretched, pulled, & contorted.
I have reached the heights of frustration, sadness, & shame.

Sometimes I get a little too deep in my healing journey to real
Queens, that feeling when you have overextended yourself & continue to do it, the sick feeling you feel, run-down, & tired. 

It seems to extend throughout your whole life.
The pattern of not knowing when to stop, not knowing where you begin
I get asked this often: how do I know when I am ready to leave?

The paradox here is that asking this question is easy, but actually taking any action is sometimes hard. (And if it’s too easy, that’s another post.)

Do you ever wonder why
gut check.
when we feel controlled in our relationships, we feel alienated.
alone.
distanced.
distanced from that person and from ourselves.
…
control can be outright through unreasonable ultimatums and demands.
control can be juuuusstt under